Rogue-Developer.com

So, I am in Europe for the first time. Big deal, right? People are always telling me that they want to come here, but I never really got it. To a large extent I still don't. The streets are old, and wizened - you can often see the evidence of a much more brutal era: Tall walls surrounding secure inner compounds, tiny windows to protect the occupants and gutters clearly designed to funnel sewage. But while the surface is interesting, the content is the same as everywhere else - Hugo Boss, 7-11s, even McDonalds and Burger King. When people like Naomi Klein talk about the loss of global culture, I always assumed it was hyperbole. Should I have expected more? I guess I feel like a kid who just found out that the Easter bunny is just a guy in a suit.

Blogs are strange things. I mean, people, including myself, will say things that they'd never say in real life. And if confronted with what they've written.. Well, in my case it makes me a little nervous. Blogs are a pubic forum for private thoughts. Digest that for a minute. Even blog readers are subconsciously aware they are 'trespassing' - rarely will I mention that I read a friend's blog. Odd really.

Plus they are great for spouting weird thoughts. And venting. So much so I'm often tempted to go back and erase a particularly strange post. I don't think that would be the right thing to do, since it would be like revoking the original thought. A post represents a particular frame of mind, and period of time, and to deny its existence cheapens the experience of life.

The end of the year, and the rush is on again. That moment when we realize how little time we actually have left. And do damage control. And cut our pie-in-the-sky ideas down to earth.

Twice now I've imagined doing some implementation work on the help system project, and twice I have failed. We've been laying some pretty good groundwork and I'm still enthusiastic about where its going. Its just a matter of kicking the whole thing off. Perfect is the enemy of good, as they say, and real user testing would be an asset.

I was thinking about applying for the google summer of code, but I'm still scratching my head. There is a few really interesting projects out there, but it boils down to a disappointing lack of funds.

For the past few weeks I've gone to bed angry. Angry in the stiff backed, fists clenched, jaw locked way.

It is the daily realization that I'm not where I imagined I would be. I look to what the future holds, and imagine my goals, but the path from here to there is obscured. A infinity of paths, with no one to point me in the right direction.

There is no one to blame but myself.

I keep thinking: Tomorrow I'll throw down, and really get things done. I'll take the first step, I will kick ass and take names.

But by the time my head hits the pillow, it is always the same shit.

So I lie there, tossing and turning, lamenting my inaction. Secretly glad that I haven't yet tried and failed. Safe in my imagining. Angry at my hypocrisy.

Well, the long awaited upgrade has happened. I've brought the site up to drupal 5. Email with any problems.

Not of the rings. No, this LORD is not the messiah. But it's pretty damn close. Legend of the red dragon - from back in those 2400 baud bbs'ing days. God, those games were fun. Tradewars too. It has come up a few times in conversation over the last month, so I asked google if there were still any games about.

Turns out, there is an opensource php/html version out there called legend of the green dragon. I signed up on lotgd.net, as ThenkYaw - if any of you guys are interested in giving it a go, even just for nostalgias sake, look me up there.

I'm going to update the site as promised, very soon. I'm thinking of trying out Django.. Maybe a side test site.

Exam time again.

Well... Okay, not really.

Grad students don't have exams. Or at least they shouldn't.

Except that I do.

Crap.

Studying and practicing UML is sooo gross. I could easily begin to whine like a twelve year old girl.

That is if I had time.

Computer science tends to do very precise research. Limiting scope is effective in making systems easier to analyze, but often misses the big picture and suffers for it.

Taking HCI [Human-computer Interaction] this semester seems to deal much more than usual with the big picture. How people interact with computers is suprisingly a really small part of this, with a core of expressive strength coming from human-human interactions caused or facilitated by software.

When looking at the open source model we see many piecemeal technologies, from low level ideas such as compilers, source code versioning to high level ideas like online help, issue tracking and knowledge bases. Each of which operates autonomously with little interconnect, which makes connections difficult to expose.

I've been struggling to come up with a topic for my a) thesis b) HCI term project and I'm leaning towards a unified theory of workflow management for O.S.S.

Its a far cry from what I thought I was going to do, but my heart is in it. I'll take a little more time to think about it.

Rather than doing drudge work, day after day, dragging my ass out of bed to do very of little real value, I find myself eager and content. Sitting in a room with people who share my enthusiasm and interest for a topic is a revelation. I'd go out for a beer with anyone in my grad classes. Brothers in CS. We spent a good hour in HCI discussing the relative merits between two different types of bubble gum container. And it wasn't bullshit. Reading REAL papers and making substantive comments. I find myself doing more than I have to. No yawning, No sneaking out or skipping. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I love this stuff.